A Kind of War
by chefox
Summary: Athena and Ares had met each other in battle countless times before. But this was the first time they'd found themselves stuck in the only kind of war in which you sleep with the enemy.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hello all! Had some free time so I thought I'd begin a story about my favourite Greek mythology couple. Enjoy~! ^^**

* * *

"Turn right here – _right_, I said."

"I AM."

"That's _left_, you _imbecile_."

"Well, _darling_, it's _my_ right – "

Ares gritted his teeth and tugged hard on the reins, eliciting a chorus of whinnying protests from the horses, as the chariot banked sharply to avoid the mountain peak that came hurtling out of the air towards them. Beside him, Athena stumbled and regained her balance, clearly unimpressed by his driving as she folded her arms and rolled her eyes.

"You know, we wouldn't have had to go through this entire minefield of mountains if you'd just taken the turn at Thebes like I told you to, Ares." Her lips pressed into a thin, tight line. "And don't call me 'darling.' It is sickening, particularly coming from _you_."

"My _dear _Athena," Ares turned to her, dark eyes glinting with mockery. "I will take whichever turn I damn well please."

"Don't call me that either, you oaf – and for Zeus' sake, since you are driving would you at least keep your eyes on the – MIND THAT MOUNTAIN!"

Her arm flew up to point before them but it was too late. A huge jolt rattled the chariot and sent it swerving wildly to the side. The whole world seemed to tilt for a split second. Ares bellowed a curse as he almost toppled overboard, the chariot making an awful scraping sound that grated the air. Athena shot a cursory glance backwards, her face stony face set with disapproval, as the chariot righted itself and continued to tear along.

"By the way," she announced flatly, "that was the summit of Kithairón you just knocked off."

Ares' temper, on the brink of eruption, flared in an instant. "You know what? If you think you're so high and mighty, why don't _you_ drive this stupid chariot?!"

"Mhm. That is the single most reasonable thing I have ever heard you say, Ares. I think I will. In fact, it should have been so right from the beginning. Hand over the reins."

"What? No! This is _my_ bloody chariot!"

"And of course there you go again, being completely irresponsible, while I – "

"Just shut up and let me drive, you harpy woman!" Ares roared, ducking to avoid a large tree branch that had splintered off and was flying towards his head.

Athena's knuckles whitened as she gripped the side of the chariot with one hand, the other snatching in vain for the reins trapped in god's strong fists. The speeding vehicle swerved once more, careening through the sky like a runaway comet, blazing a trail of shredded leaves and twigs in its wake. Ares had skimmed off the upper canopy of the most of the forest they were now passing over.

In fact, reflected the Goddess of Wisdom somewhat mournfully, the entire morning had been just one long and turbulent chariot ride to hell.

_Literally_.

At dawn, Athena and Ares had been summoned to the Council Hall and instructed by Zeus to personally collect two rings from the Fates. The King of the Gods and his Queen had only just reconciled the day before after yet another huge, months-long argument stemming from Zeus' latest dalliance. Eventually, he had managed to obtain Hera's forgiveness (for the umpteenth time), but not before she extorted out of him a promise to renew their marriage vow before the Fates themselves.

Athena knew she had been given this important task because Zeus trusted her implicitly, above any other of his offspring. What irritated her was that he had decided _Ares_ of all people had to be the one to accompany her. Everyone knew that she could barely stand him, and nor was he anywhere near delighted to be her companion for the entire day. Privately, Athena suspected that it was just plain dislike of Ares that made Zeus use every opportunity to send him away from Olympus – even under the pretence of escorting her on errands. And then there was Hera too, who recently in an attempt to salvage the respectability of both of her sons, had complained that Ares should be kept away as much as possible from Aphrodite, out of consideration for poor Hephaestus.

_Not that it's going to make any difference, though_, thought Athena dryly.

They were descending now, the earth beneath them splitting open with a deep groan. The chariot hit the ground with a jolt and proceeded to rattle at breakneck speed down a subterranean tunnel that opened before them. Flickering blue torches flashed past as the road stretched endlessly downwards. Eventually, a faint glowing pinpoint appeared in the distance, growing larger with every minute until suddenly the chariot was flying out of a yawning crevice into a colossal cavern.

The Underworld.

Through the middle flowed the black, brackish waters of the River Styx, surrounded on both sides by towering, sheer walls of rock that stretched upwards until they married into the one huge, overarching cavern roof. Precious metals and gemstones of all colours sprouted from the roof like plants from soil, the light of a multitude of flaming blue torches glittering upon them as sunlight shines through a stained glass mosaic.

Athena had always found the Underworld was in reality more hauntingly beautiful than frightening or eerie. Hades worked hard to keep the place respectable – something which she appreciated, considering the chaotic living habits of some of the _other_ Olympians.

The gaping maw in the rock face from which the chariot had entered, closed behind them with a deep rumble of rock and dust. It was one of many holes which could be seen opening up periodically across the entire cavern, carrying other visitors to the Underworld. The chariot slowed, trundling to a gradual halt by the banks of the Styx. Athena alighted gracefully, relieved to be with her own two feet on the ground again and already dreading the return trip she knew was going to be equally wild.

"Next time, Ares, we are taking _my_ chariot and _I_ will be holding the reins."

"You?" the war god scoffed. "You drive like an old blind grandmother."

"And yet, as I recall, I still managed to beat you the last time we had a chariot race, hm?"

"That was _once_. You forget that I win every _other_ time, princess."

The goddess stiffened at once, face darkening. Of all the things Ares called her he knew she hated his 'princess' and any variation of that, the most. He watched as she bristled, her pent-up fury rising to the surface like flashes of white-hot lightning veiled within the deep grey, broiling thunderclouds of her eyes.

Oh, yes, how he _adored_ that expression.

Athena had barely opened her mouth to retort when the soft whisper of an oar swishing through water announced the arrival of a long, thin boat cruising towards them. The sleek vessel coasted soundlessly to the shore, guided by the equally silent Charon who stood like a tall, pale statue at its rear.

"Good day to you, Charon," said Athena, all traces of anger apparently melting away, though Ares watched her fist slowly clench and unclench around her spear, as if itching to drive it into something. Probably him.

She gave a pleasant nod to the thin, grim ferryman as his boat bumped up gently against the bank. He proffered a deep bow and greeted her in a monotonous voice that sounded like dry autumn leaves rustling in a tired wind.

"Lady Athena. Lord Ares." He made a stiff gesture of welcome. "The Fates are expecting you."

As they ascended the ferry, Ares noticed that Athena pointedly ignored him, instead studying the tip of her spear with an unnatural intensity.

"Forgot to polish this morning?" he questioned, light and teasing.

"No, just thinking of all the ways I can ram it into your smarmy backside," she replied almost immediately.

"Aw, but then who'll protect you from the malicious spirits that lurk in the Underworld?"

"You know very well, Ares, that I can take care of myself – which is much more than can be said for yourself." Her lips curled upwards in cold scorn. "Haven't you always been afraid of the Fates?"

Ares pasted a tetchy scowl across his face. Athena knew that he hated being accused of cowardice above anything else.

"I am afraid of nothing," he snapped, thumbing the hilt of his sword. "And I will gladly prove it to you right here and now, if need be."

"Is that a challenge?" Athena's voice rose as her grip tightened around her spear. The air seemed to suddenly crackle with energy as the two war deities glared at each other.

Charon coughed awkwardly.

"Milord. Milady. We have arrived."

The Fates resided in a hut somewhere along the shore of the River Styx. They rarely ventured out, preferring to compel gods and mortals alike to come to them. The three crones were above the jurisdiction of even Zeus, their decisions absolute and irreversible. Truthfully, Athena wasn't surprised that Ares was a little scared of them. Most of the gods and goddesses were, apart from perhaps Hestia and Hades.

"I think," Athena began as they glided towards the bank, "it would be prudent to try and remain at least civil to one another for the time being. As I'm sure you will agree, Ares."

"Since when do I ever agree with you about _anything_?" He snorted and stepped back, unfortunately just as Athena on the other side was about to step off. Being the heaviest of the passengers, the ferry lurched with Ares' unintentional movement, so abruptly that not even Athena was fast enough to adjust. She toppled backwards with a tiny yelp of surprise and would have collapsed onto the floor if Ares hadn't instinctively reached out and grabbed her by the waist.

"Whoa, steady there!" Ares held her firm. She looked up and saw that he was grinning. "Where are those reflexes of yours now?"

Athena, unused to any physical male contact that wasn't a punch, kick or sword-swipe, felt an inadvertent flush rise to her cheeks. She cast a furtive glance at Charon, who merely blinked and anchored the rocking ferry with his long oar.

"I was about to suppose that you did have a gentlemanly side after all, though I should have known I was going to speak too soon," she said, attempting to extricate herself from Ares' grasp. "Now, unhand me, if you please."

"Hihihihihi! The favourite with the most despised? Goodness, Lord Zeus will be _most_ displeased." A gleeful cackle floated out across the water. The two Olympians looked up to see three ancient ladies gathered outside the tiny hut – the Fates had been waiting for them.

"Oh my~" Clothos, the weaver, cast them a sly look out of the corner of her eye. "The _scandal_! My, my, _my_…"

"Oh, stop it." Athena's lips drew into a thin, irritated line as she stepped onto the ground. "It's not what you think."

Atropos, the Fate who wielded the dread shears, cackled as she deftly snipped a thread, the bright red string fading immediately to a dull maroon as it fell from her gnarled fingers, frayed and broken.

"Of course it isn't, dear! That's what they all say. Ha! Ha! Ha!" With every syllable her scissors snapped, ending the lives of helpless mortals somewhere.

"We don't _think_ anything, dearie," said Lachesis, Caster of Lots, in a mild tone. "We simply _know_."

Ares was scowling again. "Right, I forgot how infuriating it is being around these hags."

"HAGS?" Clothos screeched and spat on the ground, stomping her foot with surprising vivacity for such an ancient-looking woman. She was the youngest Fate, yet her skin was still wrinkled and folded into more lines than the on the maps that hung in Athena's study back on Olympus. The diminutive crone glared at Ares with wicked, gleaming yellow eyes, one knobbly finger stabbing accusation. "And just _whom_ were you calling a _HAG_, ignorant son of Zeus?"

Ares rolled his eyes and sneered back at her.

"Ignorant?" Athena, on the other hand, was amused. "I couldn't agree more."

"Are you calling me stupid?"

"I'm surprised you're even asking, Ares, when you know you are so all the time."

Lachesis sighed beatifically. "Still arguing like an old married couple, I see. Young love. It's so sweet."

Ares and Athena's heads swivelled around at once, two pairs of eyes narrowing dangerously. "Ex_cuse_ me?!"

But the Fates were too busy sniggering to pay them any notice. Clothos drew out two strands of thread that were different from the others that they were working with – these glowed golden instead of red – and began to wind them together.

"Threads fit for the gods! You've come for the wedding bands for Lord Zeus and his fine Lady Hera, haven't you?" Clothos began to spin the string into two rings, taking a half from each thread.

"In marriage – one whole made of two halves – "

"One soul in two bodies – "

"Bound together without beginning and without end – "

The Moirae were chanting now, Clothos winding the threads around the rod that Lachesis held out. The Caster of Lots beckoned to Athena.

"Come, child. I'll wager no goddess of crafts has seen such weaving as this."

Indeed, as skilled with the loom as she was, Athena had never quite seen anything like this. The strings wound together so finely and tightly that they seemed to meld into one, as Clothos said, so that she couldn't distinguish one thread from the other. The ancient Weaver cackled and dropped one of the rings, luminous with a soft golden glow, into Athena's outstretched palm. It felt warm, yet oddly metallic in her hand.

"Beautiful," she breathed, eyes widening with wonder. Ares snorted, but not even his disdain was enough to spoil Athena's delight and he watched on somewhat amused, the ring's light reflecting off her irises, the curiosity within them illuminated like sunlight peeking through storm clouds. He was somewhat surprised to feel Lachesis' papery skin brush against his hand as she uncurled his fingers and pressed the other ring into his palm.

"Inspect it."

Ares blinked. "What do you mean?"

An impatient sigh puffed out of Athena's cheeks as she turned to him with a roll of her eyes. "You were sent here as an escort and a witness, Ares. Part of your duty involves ensuring that the objects we are collecting are satisfactory."

Ares glanced back down at the ring sitting in his hand. "It's – uh…pretty?"

"Try it on for size, dearie. I think you'll do for Lord Zeus. Once they've been Sealed in the Styx it'll be harder than Tartarus to make size adjustments." Lachesis gave him a motherly smile and slipped the ring on his finger before he could protest, patting the back of his hand.

The ring flared with brief warmth and expanded slightly to fit his finger. He glanced sideways to see Athena's face positively glowing with relish as she inspected the band of gold around her own finger.

"Regret taking that maiden vow now, don't you?" He observed dryly. Her eyes narrowed at him with exasperation.

"I am merely appreciating as a fellow weaver the fine craftsmanship that has gone into creating these. These are not ordinary rings, as I'm sure you will know. Not even Hephaestus could make wedding bands such as these in his forge."

Indeed, the rings made by the Fates were no ordinary marriage tokens. Woven from divine thread and later Sealed by dipping them in the waters of the River Styx, upon which all ultimate unbreakable oaths were made, the Moirae's wedding bands were powerfully binding. There was no greater way in which two beings – be they god or mortal – could be tied so absolutely together.

Athena tugged the ring off her finger, marvelling at the delicate markings that Clothos had _woven_ into the band. Once they were finished entirely, they would feel no different to the more ordinary gold and silver rings forged by Hephaestus as jewellery, though they were not made of any metal. The rings would be Sealed by the hand of Atropos the Inexorable herself – she of the Dread Shears, who brought inevitable death upon mortals and whose stone tablet contained etched records of the past, present and future that not even Zeus could attempt to alter.

"Is that – Lord Hades I see approaching?" Lachesis was looking out across the slow-moving waters of the Styx, where Charon's ferry was in the far distance bearing two other passengers. "Why, I do believe it is. And with Lady Persephone, too."

She held her hand out absently as Athena and Ares returned to her Zeus and Hera's wedding bands. Clothos was squinting into the distance, shading her eyes with a veiny old hand.

"That isn't no Lord Hades, you blind old girl – I'm sure that's Thanatos and Nyx."

"No, it isn't, right, Troppie?"

Atropos frowned. "Lady Persephone is not nearly so tall. Nor so curvaceous."

"Did you just accuse Lady Persephone of having a flat chest?!" Clothos shrieked with laughter.

"Ah – ladies, could we please get back to the business at hand –" Athena was interrupted by Atropos' vehement denial of any sort of blasphemy against Queen Persephone's bosom over Lachesis' scandalised protests and Clothos' screeching cackles. She raised an eyebrow at Ares and in a moment of rare mutuality, they exchanged a look of shared half-amusement over the Moirae's bent forms.

"It is Lord Hades, I tell you, and I don't care what you, Clothie, or Troppie, for that matter, say. Look, I will call 'Hades' and wave and he will respond in kind!" Lachesis flung her arm out in a flamboyant wave. Two glints of gold flew out through the air.

There was a single, dreadful moment before Athena, Ares and the other two Moirae heard a muffled splash somewhere in the dark waters of the river.

"Lachie, you _idiot_!" Clothos screamed, walloping Lachesis over the head with her measuring rod. Her head snapped around as the sound of splashing reached her ears. Ares was wading out into the water to retrieve the rings.

"HOLD IT – "

"ARES DON'T TOUCH THE – "

Athena and the Fates cried out at the same time, but it was too late. The war god straightened, the confused expression on his face transforming rapidly to one of alarm as the rings suddenly blazed, hot and bright in his palm.

"What the - ?" he spluttered, squinting down at his hand, which had disappeared in the blinding light that enveloped it. Athena made a small noise of alarm as the same light inexplicably appeared on her own hand as well.

"Oh, Tar-Tar-us," said Atropos very slowly. Something about the tone of her voice made Ares swivel around to stare at her.

"Hey, what's going - " he caught sight of Athena's expression and broke off. He had never before in his thousands of years of life, _ever_ seen a look of such utter and total horror, as Athena was wearing in that very moment. He felt his skin crawl, suddenly feeling very cold.

"What is this?" he asked as steadily as his voice could allow. The goddess opened and closed her mouth several times but, for the first time ever, failed to reply. Suddenly, Ares felt the warmth beginning to drain away. The last of the blinding light died away.

He stared.

"Athena...would you like to tell me what the Hades just happened?"

Athena wordlessly held her hand up. And that was when he saw it - that he was no longer holding the wedding bands, but that one of them had somehow latched onto the fourth finger of Athena's left hand. His eyes dropped. And saw the other ring on his own, matching finger.

No one spoke.

Ares stared appealingly at Athena. "Please say something, princess."

The situation must have been as dire as it was possible, for Athena didn't respond to his usual jibe. Instead she watched, a strange, hollow expression on her face, as he tugged at the ring on his finger. It wouldn't budge, as if held in place by some invisible, unmovable force.

"It's no use, Ares," she said, and the brittle, emotionless tone of her voice made him look up. She seemed to have become completely devoid of any emotion. Ares knew best that whenever that happened, things must be worse than Tartarus.

"What...do you mean?"

"We won't be able to take these rings off - for a while." Her voice caught at the end of her sentence. She swallowed, seemingly with difficulty, and peered out across the river at the ferry that had first caught the Fates' attention. "I think that is Hades coming across the river to us. Ares, as soon as Charon gets here, we will go. We have to get back to Olympus as quickly as possible."

"Wait, what - "

"WILL YOU PLEASE JUST DO IT, ARES." Athena exploded, rounding on him with her eyes blazing lightning and white-hot fire. She stopped, squeezed her eyes shut and tried, with seemingly monumental effort, to calm herself. "Ares. Please, for this once, just listen to me, and do as I say. And then - maybe - _Zeus won't kill us!_" She hissed the last few words out of her teeth.

Ares was left standing in shock, as Athena bowed tersely to the three Fates, who had been watching on silently, with unreadable expressions, and swept down the river bank. She stood there with her arms folded, stiller and stiffer than Charon now visible in the approaching ferry that carried Hades. And yet, Ares thought he could see a tremble in her shoulders.

"What the hell was that all about?" he turned to the Moirae beside him. Atropos shrugged and turned away uncomfortably. Lachesis avoided his stare, looking guilty and troubled. It was Clothos who spoke up, at last, something between a wry grin and a grimace upon her withered features.

"Congratulations, Ares."

"What?"

"You've just been married to Athena."

* * *

**A/N: Phew. No promises, but I will try to update soon! ;)**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Hello all! I apologise for the wait - but a huge thank you to all the lovely readers and reviewers! I really appreciate your time and comments~ :)**

* * *

"Oh...dear."

Hades looked from one whey-faced war deity to the other.

"Ohhhhh, dear."

"I think we get the point, Lord Hades," Athena muttered tersely through her teeth.

Ares was still shell-shocked, staring down at the ring that was as impossible to remove as if it had been branded on. He alternated between throwing his choicest swear words viciously at the Fates (who had scuttled off somewhere), and attempting to tear the offending band of gold off his finger.

"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?!" He exploded with frustration, ripped his sword from its scabbard. "Can't they reverse it?! Where did those Tartarus-damned old hags get too, anyway?!"

Somewhere in the distance there was a faint screech. "Old?! Hags?!"

Ares whipped around in an instant and sprinted off in that direction, roaring and brandishing his sword.

Hades stared after him for a moment, before turning back to his niece. Athena was sighing. Her face was very pale, and she stood with her arms folded across her chest, gripping her spear so tightly Hades was surprised she hadn't snapped it in half already. Or driven it into Ares' heart.

"I'm sorry, Athena." Hades spread his palms out helplessly. "The Styx may be in my domain, but I have no power to nullify the oaths or vows sworn and sealed upon it."

The goddess drew in a deep breath. "I know that."

There was an awkward pause.

"I...er, well. Truth be told - I don't know what to say. I mean, this sort of thing...accidents like these..." Hades glanced at her sideways. "You do know that Zeus is going to tear the skies down when he hears? You know how he dotes on you...but Ares -"

"Yes. I know." Athena pressed her palm painfully to her forehead. She really didn't want to think about Zeus and the Tartarus-raising wrath that would soon fall upon them when he found out. "We have to go back to Olympus, though, and ask him to dissolve the bond."

Hades said nothing, though he knew - and knew that Athena knew - there was little even Zeus could do, if the rings had been sealed in the Styx. There were laws and rules for dissolving Styxian contracts, which were almost impossible to bend or bypass. But then again there were also rules for those who took the Maiden Vow, also sworn on the River Styx. Hades hadn't forgotten that Athena was one of the three Virgin Goddesses, and it was obvious that she hadn't either. According the laws invoked by the Styx, should Athena's break her vow, she would suffer a terrible, terrible punishment. And yet, she had not technically violated the terms of her oath, because she was still a maiden - albeit a married one, now. Would one Styxian vow cancel out another? Hades had no idea. Nothing like this had ever happened before.

And what of Ares? It was well known that there was nothing the two war deities despised more in the world than each other. Throw those two together for too extended a period of time and Hades didn't doubt that they might blow Olympus to pieces in a heated feud, if they didn't kill one another first. Despite her stony demeanour, Hades could see the haunted look in Athena's eyes, troubled and darkened to nearly black, with what could only be described as deep despair.

Well, let her seek what comfort she could from appealing to Zeus and trying every avenue of escape. At least she could tell herself that she tried.

A shout rang through the still air of the Underworld, making both Hades and Athena turn. Further along the bank, four odd figures appeared - the Fates shuffling along faster than anyone might think possible of three wizened old ladies - with Ares in hot pursuit.

"Get back here, you cursed hags!" he bellowed.

"I would be much obliged if you didn't use that sort of language in front of me," said Hades mildly. After all, having spent so much of his lonely pre-marriage life with the Moirae, he was rather fond of the old ladies.

Ares stopped in his tracks, turning upon the King of the Underworld with a livid expression.

"Tell them to get rid of these!" He waved his hand in front of Hades.

"We've told you before - we can't!" Clothos spat, stomping one tiny foot on the ground.

"Though it's not like we want to," muttered Atropos aside.

"Really, dear, you two do make such a lovely couple. You should be happy you've managed to get yourself such a kind, beautiful wife," Lachesis attempted a benign smile, turning to Athena. "And you won't find a more capable husband in bed than Ares, or so Aphrodite tells me -"

"- excuse me?! What part of Maiden Goddess do you not understand?!" Athena rapidly turned a deep shade of crimson and rounded on the Moirae, bristling.

"Kind? Beautiful?" Ares howled. "She's like a sexually frustrated harpy who - MMFFF"

Athena had punched him in the face, which was unlike her. Usually, she didn't resort to violence unless Ares was the one who struck first. "WHAT did you just call me?!"

"YOU'RE A TOTAL HARPY PRUDE - GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT?!" Ares bellowed, levelling his sword at Athena.

"I AM NOT SEXUALLY FRUSTRATED!"

"THEN YOU'RE ASEXUAL!"

"I AM NOT – Oh, for Zeus' sake, Ares, in this situation you have no right to lose your temper – this was all your damned fault in the first place, Ares, you should have listened to us and not touched the damn rings - " Athena ducked his swing with practised ease and brought her spear up to block his next attack. The frail thread that her patience had been stretched to finally snapped. "WILL YOU STOP SWINGING THAT BLOODY THING AT ME BEFORE I SKEWER YOU WITH MY SPEAR AND TURN YOU INTO A SPIT ROAST!"

Lightning crackled along the tip of Athena's spear. Ares drew back, wary. It was imbued with the power of Zeus' thunderbolt, for Athena was the only one allowed to share Zeus' weapons and shield. In their normal fights, she rarely used the lightning, out of courtesy for fairness. But it was one of the reasons why Ares would never be able to defeat her, as long as she carried that spear.

Cautiously, Ares lowered his blade, and Athena did the same. The air was heavy with the anger of both gods. When Athena spoke again, her voice was low and furious.

"Is this is some sort of joke to you, Ares? What do you think Zeus will do when he finds out? We'll be lucky if he doesn't consign us to Tartarus for the rest of eternity -"

"Oh, so you think I relish the idea of being married to you?!" Ares hurled his sword to the side and threw his arms in the air, dark eyes blazing madly. "Why isn't it Lachesis' damn fault - she was the one who accidentally chucked them out into the river in the first place - I was just trying to help and this is what I get?!"

He paused briefly to take a breath, before continuing to fume. "For your information, Athena, I happen to have a life, too, and trust me - I did not, and do not, under any circumstances, intend to spend the rest of it tied to you. You think you're doomed? Who the hell do you think you are? You really think Zeus is going to send his little princess to Tartarus? If anyone is getting sent to that hellhole, it - is - going - to - be - me!"

He glared at Athena. She glared right back. He summoned his sword back into his outstretched hand, and in response, she raised her spear.

Hades cleared his throat. "Uh, I think the chariots are ready."

There was silence for a few seconds before Athena bit her lip and relented, shoulders sagging a little. "I'm sorry for the inconvenience we've caused you, Lord Hades." She paused, lifting her chin to gaze squarely at Ares.

"And...I apologise also, Ares, for losing my temper with you. You're right - you were just trying to help. It was hypocritical of me to let my emotions get the better of me when I know my constant lectures about curbing your own temper are extremely vexing to you." The war god stared at her with something like surprise for a moment, then glanced at Hades, and slid his sword back into its scabbard with a wordless scowl.

Hades glanced over at the Fates, who looked innocently back at him. He sighed. Tartarus knew how much smooth-talking and Zeus-placating he'd have to do on behalf of them with this particular incident. That is, if Zeus didn't smite them all, the moment they broke the news to him.

He sighed and gestured at Charon, who had been waiting silently all this time by the river bank.

"I'll call Persephone. We should probably all be there for this."

...

_Behold_, Hera thought, casting her gaze around the magnificent Olympian Council Hall. _The majestic and almighty gods and goddesses of Olympus._

Seated on her left, Poseidon let out a loud snore and promptly choked.

"SHUN THE NON-BELIEVERS!" he roared, jerking awake.

"...has obviously been a severe transgression of our – what?" Zeus stopped mid-sentence, turning to stare at his brother with confusion.

"Uh...nothing." Poseidon smiled sheepishly and settled back down. Within a few moments, his eyes had drooped and his chin dropped onto his chest.

Hera sighed.

Opposite the rather ostensibly nodding-off sea god, Apollo and Artemis appeared to be having an entire conversation across the Hall in stares. (It must be a twin thing, Hera decided). Further down the semi-circular arc of thrones, Aphrodite was apathetically studying her nails. Next to Ares' empty seat, Hephaestus, at the end of the row, appeared to be in the process of piecing together a chariot frame, as though he was still in his forge, and not in the Council Hall of the Olympus. Dionysus wasn't even conscious, his slumped form barely visible over Hermes, who was hovering several inches above his seat for no apparent reason.

Demeter, it seemed, was at least making an effort to look like she was paying attention, though her bright green eyes had been glazed over for the last ten minutes of Zeus' monologue. In fact, the only one in the room who seemed to be actually listening to their King blather on and on about some swindling priest from Thebes who'd stolen a month's worth of offerings at one of the temples – was Hestia, seated in silence by the hearth that crackled away merrily to the side of the Council Hall.

Yes, thought Hera, it really was just another ordinary morning on Olympus.

Just another day of listening to Zeus say-much-and-do-little about the usual troubles of the world below. The same mortals in the same quandaries, the same the same heroes that needed assisting, the same enemies that needed vanquishing, the same monsters that needed slaying.

_Tartarus, I'm __bored_, thought Hera. _I wish something interesting would happen._

Suddenly, Hermes shot up, waving his caduceus. Zeus broke off mid-sentence and stared.

"I'm sorry to interrupt, Lord Zeus, but I've just sensed Lady Athena and Lord Ares passing through the gates – "

"That's all very well and good, but you didn't have to interrupt just to tell us that," Zeus cut in irritably.

"But – they're not alone." Hermes' youthful face carried a mixture of confusion and concern. "Lord Hades, Lady Persephone...and the Moirae – were with them."

At that, every one of the Olympians seemed to snap out of their stupor. Even Dionysus was roused, massaging the side of his head and rubbing his eyes groggily. A wave of murmurs rose through the room.

"The Moirae?" Hera asked sharply.

"What is Lord Hades doing here at this time of the year? Spring isn't until three weeks away – surely he can't be bringing Persephone to us so early? Unless something's wrong?" Demeter sat up, a quaver in her voice as she spoke her daughter's name. "Or did Athena and Ares offend him somehow?"

"And the Moirae?" Hera asked again.

"The Fates never leave their abode," began Zeus, "unless it is a matter of – "

The doors to the Council Hall burst open, and all pairs of eyes turned to watched Hades and Persephone enter arm-in-arm, followed by the three shuffling, stooped figures of the Moirae, and finally Athena and Ares, who were strangely ashen-faced, both their expressions showing all kinds of terrible emotion. The murmurs in the room rose one more as Hades stepped forward, clearing his throat.

"Greetings to all. I know it's a little early for you to be seeing me outside of the Underworld, but I am not here today to deliver Persephone to you, though I have brought her. No," he hesitated, as if debating how to continue. "We are here on quite a different business..."

Hades trailed off, looking intensely uncomfortable, which was even more disquieting. The silence dragged on for a few more agonising moments.

"I don't know quite how to put this...so perhaps you should just see for yourselves," said Hades finally, gesturing to Ares, who averted his eyes, and Athena, whose cheeks coloured deeply. The two of them seemed uncharacteristically shy, if that was the right word, lingering about in Hades' shadow.

The silence dragged on.

Hera stared from Athena to Ares, to Hades, Persephone, the Fates, then back. None of them were meeting Zeus' eyes directly – even Athena, who appeared to be staring at some point over his shoulder.

"Athena?" Zeus said uneasily. "Did something go wrong with the task I sent you on?"

Slowly, very slowly, Athena reached for Ares, taking him by the wrist and leading him out from behind Hades and Persephone to stand before Zeus.

"We did retrieve your rings, Lord Zeus," she began, somehow able to miraculously speak though her expression was troubled beyond words. "Although, they are...perhaps – "

She swallowed, and then held up Ares' hand, as well as her own.

Hera stared down at their outstretched fingers. She felt herself suddenly go cold, stomach plummeting to her feet. She heard several others gasp, and saw through the corner of her eyes Demeter clapping a hand over her mouth. It seemed to take everyone a moment to register the two winking golden bands on the fourth fingers of both deities' left hands.

"...they are perhaps..." continued Athena in a strangled voice, "...not so much your rings – as ours."

Silence.

_All right_, was the first thing Hera could think. _Perhaps this is a little __too__ interesting._

As a soft _thump!_ from beside her, she turned to see her husband keeled over like he'd just been struck by one of his own lightning bolts.

Zeus had fainted.

Then, all hell broke loose.

...

"He's _dead_!" Demeter was shrieking. Her voice seemed to come from very far away, to Zeus.

"Gods cannot die, Demeter." Hades' calm voice drifted towards him. "He's just passed out."

"I tell you – the shock must have stopped his heart!"

"Nonsense!"

"Athena – how could you do this to your own father?!"

"Oh, for goodness' sake, Demeter – calm down."

"– I mean, I expected something like this from Ares – but – _you_, Athena?!"

"Shut _up_, Demeter! Didn't they already say it was an accident?!"

"Thank you, Artemis."

"Accident, my foot. I always knew there was something fishy going on with those two."

"WHAT?!"

"_Mother_!"

"Don't you take that tone with me, Persephone! This is just perfect, isn't it – the heavens are about to wreak doom upon the mortal realm, the gates of Tartarus are going to open, the Titans will return and pound us all to dust –"

"Demeter, I _assure_ you, the gates of Tartarus are _well_ sealed – "

"And _what_ will we do now without our King?!"

"Hey, well...I'm the second oldest, so technically..."

"...don't you dare, Poseidon."

"Well, if Zeus is dead –"

"LIKE I KEEP SAYING, HE IS NOT DEAD."

Zeus moaned, trying to open his eyes. There was silence, before he everyone started to clamour again.

"Give him some space – step back, give him room to breathe, for Tartarus' sake – see, what did I tell you, Demeter?"

Zeus' eyes fluttered open. The exquisite ceiling fresco greeted his blurred vision. He felt cold marble pressing against his back. Apollo's face appeared over him. Then Hera's, furrowed with concern. He felt a hand on his forehead.

"He's awake," announced the healing god. "Hestia – the ambrosia, if you please? I don't know how long it will take him to regain his senses, since it's his first time."

"Athene – Athena –" Zeus mumbled, attempting to sit up, only for Hera to push him gently back down. "Athena – where is she? I want to see her – where is my grey-eyed darling?"

Zeus heard a snigger, and someone, it sounded like Dionysus, whispered, "He _still_ calls you tha – _ow_! You didn't have to _punch_ me, Athena!"

Athena's face came into view above him, cheeks flushed bright red. He reached for her, feeling her strong, warm hand close around his own.

"Ah, my beloved child – I had a strange, strange dream – a terrible dream, in fact."

Athena's eyes were looking everywhere but at him. "I-is that so, Lord Zeus?"

"Yes. I dreamt that you and that scumbag Ares had taken a Styxian vow and gotten married. Isn't that terrible?" As he spoke, Zeus felt his strength slowly returning. His mind was not so fuzzy now.

"That – was not a dream, Lord Zeus," Athena muttered, barely audible.

There was a pause, before Zeus spoke again.

"Is that so?"

"...Yes."

Another pause. The others had fallen silent, as well. A near-tangible tension had settled in the room, as all of them waited warily for Zeus to explode into a frothing fit and rain havoc upon the Earth. Hermes, Dionysus, Aphrodite and Demeter were already sheltering behind a pillar, should Zeus start launching projectiles. The last time he'd flown into a rage in the Council Hall, he had picked up all the thrones in his wrath and hurled them one by one at them. Dionysus still had the scar on his temple where the edge of Poseidon's throne had clipped him during that incident.

"Hera?" He said finally, his tone oddly businesslike. Somehow, his calmness was infinitely more terrifying than if he had burst into a rampage.

"Yes?" Hera seemed surprised to be addressed.

"Where is Ares? And the Moirae?"

"All...still here," replied Hera cautiously.

"Good. Restrain them and bring them forward." Zeus pulled himself to his feet. "Athena?"

"Yes, my lord?" His daughter regarded him cautiously, keeping her distance as if expecting Zeus to strike her at any moment.

"Fetch my thunderbolt."

The goddess froze.

"...Might – might I be so bold as to ask why, my lord?"

There was a terrifying pause, in which everyone seemed to be holding their breath, before Zeus replied unblinkingly.

"Because, my dearest child – I am going to kill them."

...

It was very simple, really, Zeus thought, oblivious to the chaos around him.

It was not that he wasn't angry. He was, in fact, unspeakably furious. No, he was beyond that. He was so furious, even he had no idea what it would make him do now. But Zeus felt all of this only dimly, as if he had partitioned all his rage behind a wall, where it was steadily building up, increasing in pressure. His mind was unexpectedly clear. He knew exactly what he wanted – what he felt he ought to and must do, to protect the most precious of his offspring.

No doubt, the other Olympians were surprised that he hadn't already thrown a fit and torn up half of Olympus, like he normally did to let off steam. Well, no matter. There was no need to bow down to their expectations, to make a show of it.

They were already doing a pretty good job of that themselves, thought Zeus. The minute he'd said it, the Council Hall was once again thrown into uproar.

"YOU DAMN OLD MAN," Ares bellowed, drawing his sword despite Athena's futile attempts to drag it away from his hands.

"You _moron_, that's not going to help!" she yelled.

Meanwhile, Hera had taken a vice-like grip on Zeus' arm. "In case you might have forgotten, _dear_, Ares is your _SON_."

"I don't care! I hate him the most!" Zeus roared, his temper snapping, as if triggered by Ares.

"Besides which, you can't kill the Moirae," muttered Hestia from his other side. "They are beyond your jurisdiction."

"Exactly!" Clothos crowed, from where she and her sisters had retreated behind a pillar, before shrinking back almost immediately.

"DON'T – GIVE – A – DAMN!"

"Brother, you are being unreasonable here – " Hades took Zeus' other arm, attempting to restrain his brother from flying over to Ares in a rage and strangling him to death.

"DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO, HADES. I AM KING!"

"Yeah, Hades. He's King."

"You – shut up, Poseidon."

"OFF WITH THEIR HEADS! WHAT ARE YOU ALL STANDING THERE FOR, YOU USELESS BLOCKHEADS – SEIZE THEM!"

"Maybe we should leave," Hermes muttered to Apollo.

"LET GO OF ME, ATHENA! LET ME AT HIM!"

"Ares, will – you – just – _calm_ – _down_! Artemis, could you help me hold his other arm?"

The two goddesses were trying desperately to hold the war god back. Aphrodite, Hephaestus, Dionysus Demeter and Persephone had long ago retreated to a far corner of the Council Hall, watching from the distance with a morbid kind of fascination.

"Zeus – will you just consider this rationally for a moment – "

"SHUT UP, HERA!"

"H – HOW DARE YOU SPEAK TO ME LIKE THAT! I AM YOUR _WIFE_!"

"I AM KING!"

"IF YOU DON'T STOP THIS MINUTE, YOUR KINGLY SELF IS SLEEPING ON THE COUCH FOR THE NEXT MILLENIUM, GOT THAT?!"

"I – AM – KING!"

Unfortunately, Zeus was beyond the point where words could reach him.

"Athena – do – something!" Artemis gasped, as Ares elbowed her in the stomach.

"Oh for goodness' sake – " Athena rolled her eyes as Ares squirmed in her headlock. "Artemis, hold him."

She let go of Ares and dropped abruptly to the floor.

"Please, Lord Zeus."

The chaos in the room stopped. Everyone, including Zeus, turned to stare. Because, for the first time in her life, Athena was on her knees.

"I'm begging you, Zeus, please, just this once, show mercy."

There was a brief silence, before the King of the Gods unexpectedly burst out into a roar of laughter that sounded vaguely hysterical. Hera and Hades edged away slightly.

"Silly child, I was going to obliterate _them_, not _you_."

His eyes widened as Athena bowed further, pressing her forward to the cold marble floor, speaking rapidly. Ares' eyes fixed on the back of her neck, pale white, exposed and bare. Vulnerable. Her voice trembled slightly, but its tone was firm.

"That is why I beseech you. Please, there must be some way to dissolve the bond. And if not – if you insist on punishment – then it is only fair that I have my share. If you will strike them down and consign them to Tartarus for all eternity, then I will likewise hold my out my own wrists to be shackled."

There was a further silence. Ares stared at his enemy. How many times had he imagined himself bringing her to her knees in defeat? And yet, here she was kissing the floor so that his life would be spared.

_What the hell are you doing, Owlgirl?_

"Athena." Zeus said, his voice barely above a whisper. He was no longer laughing. "Get up. That's an order."

The goddess of wisdom didn't move an inch.

Under any other circumstances, Ares would have found the situation amusing. Delightful, even, to see Athena reduced to kneeling on the floor like a slave begging her master. But for some reason, at this moment, he found himself growing severely agitated.

_You idiot! You might be his favourite, but that doesn't mean he won't kill you!_

Ares stepped forward, hand tightening around the hilt of his sword. Zeus' eyes had darkened rapidly. He drew himself to full height. His hand reached out, whether to strike Athena or to simply pull her up, no one would ever know – for in that moment, Ares acted.

Leaping forward, he looped an arm around Athena's waist and in one swift moment had slung her over his back like a sack of potatoes. The goddess was too surprised to even respond before he was halfway to the door, the Moirae behind him in a flash.

"GET THEM! DON'T LET THEM ESCAPE!" Zeus roared. The Olympians surged forward, half the deities trying to help them escape, the other half trying to stop them. Needless to say, everyone was screaming.

"Get them! Don't let them escape!" Demeter shrilled from where she was standing behind the pillar.

"OUT OF MY WAY!" Ares roared, kicking Hermes in the face.

"SEAL THE DOORS!" bellowed Poseidon. He charged towards Hades, brandishing his trident. The sea god's mind worked very simply. Something bad had happened. Hades was present. Hence, Hades was responsible.

"What in Tartarus are you coming at _me_ for, you dolt?!" Hades roared, pushing Persephone quickly behind him.

"THAT'S MY DAUGHTER, BASTARD!" Demeter shrieked, bearing down like a vengeful harpy on Poseidon in all her fury.

"Put me down!" Athena shrieked, as Ares scaled the wall, and leapt over Hephaestus. "What are you doing, you insane idiot?!"

"In case you didn't notice, saving your life!" Ares roared, parrying a blow from Poseidon. He swore, his legs buckling as Poseidon battered him ruthlessly. "_Dammit_, how much do you eat, Olivehead?! You weigh more than a chariot made of lead!"

"Ex_cuse_ me?! For your information, I am wearing several layers of armour here, which – LEFT SHOULDER, BLOCK!"

Ares swivelled rapidly, swinging his sword up to meet Dionysus' with a loud clang. "Thanks," he grunted, eyes glowing murderously. "By the way, where are the Fates?"

There was a cackle. "Right behind you, darling!" Clothos waggled her fingers, materialising at Ares' side, followed by Lachesis and Atropos.

"We'll be relying on you to protect us, dear," said Lachesis, patting his arm kindly.

Over his shoulder, Athena could be heard sighing. "Ares, I really don't think we should – INCOMING, ON YOUR FLANK!"

Ares twirled, sending Poseidon's trident clattering away with a mighty swipe of his blade.

"As I was saying, we should – TO YOUR RIGHT, PARRY!" Athena yelled. "LEFT! THRUST! BEHIND – SWING! FOLLOW THROUGH! MIND YOUR BLIND SPOT!"

Ares grunted with the effort as he alternately leapt, swung and thrust, twisting this way and that, inching ever so slowly towards the door. Poseidon, Dionysus, Hermes and Hephaestus were trying to stop him – Demeter and Hades seemed to be engaged in their own argument, Hera and Zeus were still screaming at each other, Hestia was sitting on the step beneath Zeus' throne, massaging her temples as though she had a headache. Aphrodite had withdrawn behind a pillar, and no one knew whose side Artemis and Apollo were on. They appeared to be just shooting everyone.

"Feint, Ares! Feint!" Athena was hollering in his ear.

"Tch. No way in hell!"

"You can't just attack him up front like that, you numbskull!"

"I _can_!"

"FEINT! FOR THE LOVE OF TARTARUS, FEINT!"

"STOP SCREAMING, WOMAN!"

"FEINT, YOU RIDICULOUS ASS!"

"I WILL NOT FEINT, DAMN YOU!"

Ares grunted as he evaded a fraction of a second too slow, the tip of Poseidon's trident grazing his shoulder.

"_What _did I tell you?! If you had just feinted like I _told_ you –"

"AM I THE ONE FIGHTING HERE, OR WHAT?!"

"YOU STUBBORN FOOL! WHO ASKED YOU TO?! I HAD THE SITUATION WITH ZEUS UNDER CONTROL!"

"I'M _SURE_ THAT'S WHY HE LOOKED LIKE HE WAS ABOUT TO TEAR YOU INTO PIECES WITH HIS BARE HANDS!"

"YOU – YOU IDIOT!"

"JUST GO DIE, YOU UNGRATEFUL HARPY!"

"PAY ATTENTION TO WHERE YOU'RE RUNNING, PIGHEAD!"

The door was right in front of them. He had managed to clear a path through, it seemed. Ares glanced quickly over his shoulder to see Athena folding her arms, glaring at him from upside down. She might have looked comical had the situation been less outrageous, her face flushed from the blood that had rushed to her head.

"We're getting out of here, Princess, whether Zeus was about to kill you or not," he said seriously. The scowl dropped from Athena's face, her eyes widening with surprise.

"Hurry up, you hags!" Ares yelled at the Fates, scuttling along behind in the trail of destruction he'd left. He sent Hermes flying with a well-aimed kick, bursting out of the door into the sunlight. It was beautiful day on Olympus, despite the hell-raising that was going on in the Council Hall.

"SHUT UP, HERA! I AM DOING THIS FOR THE GREATER GOOD OF – "

"GREATER GOOD? _GREATER GOOD_?! I AM YOUR _WIFE_! I AM THE _GREATEST GOOD_ THAT YOU, MISERABLE PIG, ARE _EVER_ GOING TO GET – "

Zeus broke off abruptly mid-argument with Hera, having just realised that Ares, with his precious Athena hauled over his back and the Moirae close behind, had made it out the door and were hurtling down the steps of Olympus at breakneck speed.

"FOOLSSSSS!" Zeus roared at Poseidon, Hephaestus and Hermes, who had given up and were wearily nursing their injuries. "HE HAS KIDNAPPED MY DAUGHTER! AFTER THEM!"

"_You_ go after them!" Poseidon snapped, picking up his trident, which had a few nasty dents in it. "This is insane!"

"You can't blame Ares, Zeus," fumed Hera. They watched as the small figures of Ares, Athena and the Moirae reached the chariots at the base of the stairs. "You were about to destroy them."

Zeus glared at his wife. "I was only going to kill that bastard Ares and the damned Moirae! So why in Tartarus did he take Athena?!"

"Well, it certainly didn't look like that, idiot husband of mine," snapped Hera. "You looked like you were about to break the girl's neck!"

"Nonsense!" Zeus barked. "I would not touch a hair on Athena's head, and all of you know that. I was simply going to pull her to her feet and talk some sense into her!"

"Then why Ares would snatch her off like that, if he hadn't thought you were about to reduce her to ashes and dust?" growled Hera, folding her arms.

Sitting beneath them, Hestia raised an eyebrow, muttering to herself with a smile.

"Why, indeed?"

...

Ares grunted as he dumped Athena rather unceremoniously on the chariot. The goddess of wisdom sprang up almost immediately and tried to slap him in the face. He caught her wrist, her palm inches from his cheek.

"What the hell was that for?!"

"How _dare_ you sling me over your shoulder like that!"

"You – " Ares spluttered indignantly. "I _saved _you!" He jabbed a finger in her face.

"From what?!" Athena retorted.

Ares couldn't believe his ears. "Zeus was about to blow you to smithereens!"

"He was _not_!"

"How the hell do you know that?!"

"Well, how did you know he _was_, Ares? Didn't you say it yourself – he would gladly kill you, but he wouldn't hurt me!" Athena snapped.

"Then maybe I wasn't prepared to take that risk!" Ares yelled, slamming his sword into the ground.

Athena stared at him.

There was a silence. The blood rushed to his face as Ares realised the implications of what he'd blurted out a moment ago.

_THE HELL DID I JUST SAY?!_

"Uh – that is – don't take that the wrong way...I didn't mean it like _that_ – I mean, we're – "

"Enemies?" Athena finished for him, her pale eyes boring into his. She was still staring at him steadily, her expression carefully, cautiously neutral.

"Uhm. Yeah."

"...huh." To his surprise she broke into the faintest, wry smile. "Enemies...yet married." She let out a small chuckle, though it sounded more like a noise of despair than amusement.

"Oh yeah." Ares scratched the back of his head. "That's kind of a problem still, isn't it?"

"That was very touching, dears. But you know what else is still _kind of a problem_~?" Lachesis' voice suddenly piped up from behind. Ares jumped, swearing loudly.

"Gods, are you hags are still here?!"

"We won't be getting anywhere without you," Atropos muttered. "None of us can drive."

"Are you serious?! This is a damned two-person chariot!" Ares glared at them.

"You forget Ares, that these three hardly ever leave the Underworld," said Athena, sighing.

"You may _also_ be forgetting that we are still on Olympus – and therefore in danger of being blown into god-mince by the Lord of Psychopaths up there," Clothos grinned, pointing up. The sky had grown dark at an alarming rate, slate-grey thunderclouds gathering ominously above. There was no doubt that Zeus would be after them. Regardless of the imminent peril, Ares found himself in danger of another meltdown as the three ancient ladies scrambled into the chariot, beaming at him.

"Don't worry, we'll squish up so there's plenty of room!" said Lachesis.

"Are you just trying to get on my good side because this was all your damned fault in the first place?" Ares growled, picking up his sword and sheathing it. He really did have an overpowering urge to kick all three of their wrinkly backsides to the deepest pits of Tartarus. Damn Fates. No wonder only Hades liked them. He reached for the reins, but Athena was faster.

"_I _will be driving, this time," she said, eyes narrowing. Ares found his spine tingling uncomfortably. She was squashed up much closer than he was capable of dealing with. This chariot was too damn small for the five of them. Athena flicked the reins, waking the dozing horses.

"Take us to Nyx, grey-eyed one," ordered Atropos as they sped through the gates of Olympus, heading for the mortal realm. Athena furrowed her brow.

"Nyx? Why her?"

"She may be able to help you where we cannot," Clothos chorused, kicking Ares in the shin.

"T – TARTARUS, THAT HURT, YOU LITTLE – "

"Oh, don't worry, dear – Clothos only does that to people she likes!" chirped Lachesis, patting Ares on the arm.

"Then make her hate me!"

"You two are idiots." Atropos rolled her eyes.

"Troppie! How mean!"

"_OW_! AGAIN?! WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR?!"

"Nothing. I just enjoy the look of pain on your face."

"YOU WANT ME TO KILL YOU?!"

"I highly suggest you put the sword away..."

"It's like Troppie says, Ares. I'm sure people have told you this before, but violence is not the answer."

"I don't want to hear that from you, damn hag!"

"My name is not Damn Hag, dear. It's Lachesis."

"Hyah!"

"WILL. YOU. STOP. _KICKING_. _ME_."

"Kekeke. Lies. This chariot is overcrowded. Your shin simply fell into the top of my foot."

"Don't mess around with me, Clothos – you even went 'Hyah!' as you did it!"

"So what?! I like making meaningless noises, foooool!"

"ATHENAAAA!"

"Oh, running off to the competent one, now, are we?"

"Olivehead, are you _sure_ we can't throw these stinking hags overboard?"

Athena sighed. She could already feel the headache gathering, like the storm that brewed on the horizon before them.

* * *

**A/N: Hope it wasn't too crazy and weird! ^^**


End file.
